Fear of Change

Fear is like a brick wall and only the way to deal with it is to knock it down and move forward through the face of it. I played games with my diet for a long time. I was "gluten free" and would only occasionally eat a Chicago style pizza. I found a recipe for bread that had about 20 ingredients including multiple types of non-wheat flours. I was in a lot of pain. It hurt when my husband would lean over me to kiss me good night because any pressure on my hip caused my to cringe in pain. I was so afraid of giving up bread and tasty treats. How could I survive without that wonderful smell. The crunch of a loaf of french bread, the donut with a cup of coffee, or pie and cake for celebrations are anchors from my past life.

I don't know what exactly made me finally change my diet. I have read lots of books and tried lots of things so why would Robb Wolf's The Paleo Solution be different? The answer is that I was ready and the book came along at the right time. I was tired of the pain, I was moving into a big new project at work, and I was really tired of seeing the way I looked in the mirror.

Last week, I said that I have been stuck and I was more tired than usual. I decided to increase my vitamin D3 and K2 to see if things changed. I am feeling better. I am still more tired than usual, but It has been almost two years since I took a real vacation. 

We (John and I) noticed that swimming, bike riding, and even a glass of wine have the ability to let me release some stress. A year ago, I really couldn't do anything physical. At least, I believed that I couldn't. On our mini-vacation to Kohler, Wisconsin, I had the chance to swim in the pool. The chlorine was tough on my body and my chronic cough was not helped by it, but swimming felt so good. Just swimming one length was tough and I pushed myself to swim 20 laps. Now, I am swimming a mile or more with faster laps and less struggles with breathing and while the chronic cough seems to be more prevalent in the winter, the chlorine/bromine at the local pools does not seem to impact my day any more. 

At work our double flight of stairs would leave me breathing hard on most days and even harder in the humidity. Now, I take the stairs as if it's a walk down a hallway. I never think twice about trips up and down the stairs and actually like the opportunity for some exercise.

Getting to the pool was tough this weekend so I headed to the basement and road my exercise bicycle. I have had it for years and it goes through the phases of collecting dust and clothing, but now, it is a quick link to a cardio workout and stress relief.

I have found some recipes that allow me the special treats without the flour, sugar and highly processed additives from store bought food. These recipes let me have a treat without the guilt and fear. They are homemade, delicious and while not 100% healthy, they allow me to feel like the world of food is limitless even without grains, dairy and legumes.

Paleo Blueberry Muffins

1 very ripe banana cut into pieces

2 eggs

1/8 C, Water

1/8 Cup Almond Oil

1/4 C. Maple Syrup

1/2 tsp Vanilla

1/2 orange squeezed (optional)

2 1/4 C Almond Meal

1 tsp Baking Soda

1/3 C. Egg White Powder (You can increase to 4 eggs and an extra 1/2 C Almond meal to replace powder) I get it from Fruitful Yield, Now brand unflavored) I buy it for summer smoothies so it comes in handy year round.

grated orange peel

1 Bag Blueberries

1 large handful chopped pecans

Mix Wet ingredients with an immersion blender to turn the banana into liquid. Mix dry ingredients. Then mix together. Fold in blueberries and pecans. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes, Use muffin papers.

Also tasty, 1 1/4 cup chopped cranberries with pecans or hazelnuts and some clove or allspice. I am going to try chopped raspberries, hazelnuts, and grated lemon peel and maybe increase the vanilla.

Makes 15 muffins.